#54 - Patterns I See Again and Again in Estate Administration
What years of helping families after a death reveal about guidance, overwhelm, and accountability
Reluctant Executor was incorporated just over 2 years ago, after spending the previous years dealing directly with supporting my mom through administering my dad's estate. In that time, I've worked with enough families to recognize patterns in how they approach estate administration.
Everyone needs guidance after a death
Families that work with Reluctant Executor need different levels of support, but one constant with all is that they need guidance. Some families just want to verify their approach. They need a second opinion, but are generally on the right track. They prefer to talk through their situation and see if there is anything they are missing. Once they affirm they are doing things properly, they choose to carry out the tasks themselves.
Other families are also comfortable doing the work of estate administration, but they don't know where to begin. Some get conflicting advice on what to do or where to start. Knowing what can wait, what impacts other tasks, and the overall order is not clear. Most of the time, these families do not have details for all of the accounts that they'll need to transfer or close. They ask for help in how to find these accounts, but once they have this guidance, they too prefer to carry out the tasks on their own.
Finally, there are families that just don't want to deal with any more than they have to. They are overwhelmed, tired, grieving, confused, don't have the time, or any number of other possible reasons. The guidance they ask for is for someone to help them. This help comes in the form of: what do they need to do? how do they do it? can someone else do this?
Planning involves accountability and filling in the details
Two clear patterns have emerged from the years of helping families get their estate organized: critical information is often overlooked, and the need for accountability.
Nobody can prepare for 100% of the things they will encounter when administering an estate. But you can get close. Families that are ahead of the game and have some information organized are often surprised when they learn what slipped through the cracks. There is often needed details that they didn't capture, types of accounts that were overlooked, information was not consolidated or easy to find, or the right family member was never informed where this information was kept.
The second pattern is the most agonizing. Many families know they need to get their information in order. They realize their parents aren't getting younger, and conversations need to happen before a serious medical event does. Knowing the estate administration burden will fall on the adult children, they are motivated to take action and get a plan in place.
But it's a difficult subject. They're not 100% clear on where to start. And when they do start, many find out gathering the data will be a long, boring, and possibly difficult process. So they stop. They had great intentions, but ended up with a checklist of incomplete goals. What they had in motivation, they lacked in accountability.
Reluctant Executor Services
Reluctant Executor's service offerings are aligned to these patterns. We offer multiple levels of after loss support. Our estate organization ranges from Do-It-Yourself to Done-With-You. While we know that each family is unique and has different styles, the end goal remains the same: reduce the stress on families after a death.
See how we can help and get details on all of our offerings.
When you're ready to talk, schedule a meeting.