#53 - I Asked ChatGPT What to Do When A Parent Dies
Reluctant Executor News
Welcome to 2026. By now you've surely heard of AI, and probably tried out a few prompts on ChatGPT. Even if you still rely on Google searches, you've seen their AI generated results listed before they display search results. Things are changing, but what remains constant is that we all still want to get answers to our questions. Since this company, Reluctant Executor, helps families organize and prioritize the administrative chaos after a death, I decided to ask ChatGPT the most basic question an executor could ask.
“My parent just died, what do I do next?”
ChatGPT generated a thoughtful guide that covered different aspects of next steps. It focused on what to prioritize, specifically calling out what can wait. This is great advice since most families are overwhelmed, don't know where to start, and may be receiving conflicting information or pressure on certain tasks. ChatGPT also balanced emotional and tactical next steps. Their first recommendation is to make sure you have support, reminding you that you don't have to do this alone. They specifically call out trusted family and friends, but don't forget about professional services like Reluctant Executor, who have gone through these scenarios many times.
Next ChatGPT gets to more tactical recommendations. Order death certificates, secure the home, find out if there is a will or trust, determine who is the executor. They also remind you that even if you are the executor, you don't have authority to do anything until approved by the courts. ChatGPT is playing it safe here, because there are scenarios where the responsible party can transfer money without being approved by a probate court. BUT, they rightly point out that moving money before fully understanding implications can lead to large problems later. For example, it may be tempting to distribute funds with a POD designation immediately, but these funds may not be fully shielded from creditors. State laws vary, but creditors may be able to pursue the beneficiary after money has been distributed. Reluctant Executor helps families see the big picture, often creating an inventory of assets and debts. This helps to be more prepared when discussing options with estate lawyers.
ChatGPT next focuses on locating key documents. The will or trust, bank statements, life insurance policies, retirement and brokerage accounts, deeds and titles, etc. Finding these documents can be a nightmare for families, especially when dealing with the grief and stress from the death. However, preparing ahead of time makes this step a breeze. The Estate Organization service from Reluctant Executor helps families at any age find and store these critical documents.
Next ChatGPT hits on the execution phase. They recommend to start notifying financial institutions, life insurance companies, employer or pension, and social security. Here is where ChatGPT is a little off. Funeral homes typically contact social security before the funeral. An employer was likely notified shortly after the death. It may not be a good idea to contact financial institutions until you fully understand the implications of closing each account. ChatGPT also leaves out that once you are ready to notify these companies, it is a very time consuming process. Some studies show that you could be making 5 phone calls per week and spending 26 hours per month on the phone. This is another task that Reluctant Executor can take off your hands. We make the calls, do the research, and only bring families on to the call when needed, saving you hours of time.
The last two steps that ChatGPT recommends are to pay expenses, then determine if probate is required. Again, these seem out of order. The expenses listed are funeral costs, utilities, property taxes, and insurance. Funeral expenses typically don't need to be paid immediately, they understand that families have money tied up in the estate. Utilities, property taxes, and insurance are all items that will need to be paid eventually, but you should first know the due dates, amounts, and if they offer grace periods for a death. Plus, you may need to prioritize other payments over these, depending on your situation.
Probate can be costly and time consuming, and not all estates need to go through probate. Furthermore, many states have different types of probate depending on if there is a will or the amount of assets in the estate. This decision needs to be thought about early on, as you're gathering documents, and likely confirmed with an estate lawyer. Reluctant Executor's after loss services give families an impartial, 3rd party to discuss your options. Often families just need to talk everything through, help identify gaps, and get a different perspective.
This ChatGPT answer ended with solid recommendations stressing that you should take your time, and to organize before executing. A key part missing from this ChatGPT response was ways to prevent fraud. Notifying credit reporting agencies and checking credit reports are two early steps that are critical to minimize the chances of a bad actor stealing assets from your loved one's accounts.
Estate Organization
Every situation is unique. Unfortunately your unique situation is something that cannot be captured by online checklists or general guidance. Overall, ChatGPT's response was good for a starting point, but not something families should depend on for a comprehensive approach. On the other hand, Reluctant Executor's after loss services create a unique plan for each family. We take into account their unique circumstances, and offer assistance where and how they need it, bringing in other professionals when necessary. This holistic approach reduces the stress on the family, and saves hours of time.
When you’re ready, schedule a call with us.