#38 - 5 Tips To Communicate With Your Parents
Reluctant Executor News
Talking about finances and death are two of the most difficult topics for families, yet they are two of the most important. So how do you start these conversations?
One approach is to communicate on the other person's terms. What does this mean?
Think about times you've tried to reach out to a company with a question. Maybe you prefer to call, but they don't list a phone number. Maybe you prefer to email, but all they have is a web form. Or maybe they push you to a chatbot because, hey, AI is the future.
How do you feel when the company pushes communication to THEIR preferred method, not yours? It's frustrating and uncomfortable. And if you get through to someone, you're already annoyed, which can cause the conversation to derail quickly.
My preferred method of communication is email. It gives me flexibility on when I respond, and I can think through appropriate responses instead of risking a quick, not fully baked answer.
But as a business owner, I don't get to choose my preferred method. I recently worked with a client that has difficulty with vision. They can still read emails, but it's not easy. They don't check their email frequently. During our intake meeting, knowing I had to send documents, I asked about their preferred communication. The response was send the email, but give them a heads up over text or phone.
How does this apply to your family conversations about finances and death? Here are five things to consider if you're looking to discuss difficult topics with a parent:
Consider when your parent is most approachable. Is it the weekend or a weekday? Are they friendlier in the evening or the morning? Pick a day and time that maximizes the chances of having a good discussion.
Think about other factors that affect their mood, like meals and sleep. Do they get cranky when they are hungry or tired? Consider discussions after a meal, or when well rested.
Location can also play a huge role. Is your parent more relaxed at their home? If so, don't try to invite them to your house to discuss difficult topics.
Try to talk when similar subjects are already on your parent's mind. Is a friend of theirs closing an estate? This may be a good time to talk about their experience and how you can help your parent avoid some of the same challenges.
If your parent brings up the topic, it means they want to talk about things. This may be a short window, but it's a golden opportunity, so be ready and make the time.
Estate Organization
Once you figure out the best time and way to approach a challenging conversation about finance and death, you still need to know what to say. Reluctant Executor can help with this by walking you through the types of things to discuss.
Schedule an Estate Organization call with me to make sure you’re prepared when your window opens.